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તારા બદલાતા ચહેરા ના ભાવો જોઈ,
સ્મિત કરી ગયું મન મારુ
ઘડી ભર તેજ ને ઘડીક ટકોર માં,
આલિંગન આપી ગયું રુદીયું મારુ
તારી ચક્ષુ ઓ ની તણાતી રેખાઓ જોઈ
ઘડી ભર જોતા રહી જવાયું
ને તારા ઉગ્ર થતા મને ને જોઈ
જાણે વ્હાલા થઈ જવાયું.
Amulya had been dealing with Medha's moods for the last 5 years. After their daughter Tanvi was born, she had changed a lot. She was always on edge, didn't talk to anyone for days or just sit and weep. They called it post-partum depression meaning depression after child birth.
Tanvi would have suffered but for Amulya taking care of her and making sure she grew up a happy child. He would get her ready for school, play with her and explain why Medha could not do much. He told her "When mamma cries you must go and kiss her eyelashes and then go and play. Your kisses will dry her tears." Tanvi learnt soon how to stay out of Medha's way on bad days and wait for Amulya to come home to tell him about her day.
Everyday, Amulya would try to read Medha's expression when he came back from work. Were her eyes smiling? What was the angle of her mouth? Was it turned down with a chance of turning up? Were her hands fidgeting with the bedspread or was she about to say something? He would quickly adjust his responses to suit her and gently coax her out of a low mood to one where they maybe have dinner together. It took 2 hours of gentle talking and maybe pressing her feet till she smiled. It was exhausting but the smile gave him a sense of achievement.
That day he was bone tired. After a bad day at work he had come home to a Medha who refused to even turn around on the bed. He tried his best but gave up. He played with Tanvi, gave her dinner and after putting her to bed sat to watch some mindless TV. He did not know when he fell asleep but woke up when he felt something on his eyelids. It was Tanvi kissing him gently.
"Why aren't you asleep beta? Had a bad dream? Come I'll help you sleep." Amulya picked her up.
"No papa. i didn't get a bad dream. But when you were patting me to sleep I peeped and saw your face. Your expression was so sad though you were singing my favourite song. I knew you were sad like Mamma. So I thought I would kiss the tears away."
Amulya smiled at her. " Is this a happy face now Tanvi?"
Tanvi looked at him carefully and kissed his eyelashes again and again till she fell asleep.
आशंका, व्याकुलता, झुंझुलाहट,नीरस के घोल बन चुके जवानी में बचपन की उत्सुकता और उमंग को खोजने के प्रयास में और बेचैन होते जा रहा हुँ। बचपन की उन सुबहों की बहुत कमी महसूस होती है जब हर सुबह इस खुशी से उठते थे की आज कुछ नया होगा अब सब नीरस हो गया है।अनजाने भय ने दिल में घर कर लिया है
" કાર્ય "ની શરૂઆત માટે ભલે "ચોઘડિયા" *જોવાય છે*
પણ "પરિણામ" ક્યારેય "ચોઘડિયા" જોઇને નથી *આવતું*
बड़ी ज़ोर से हसीं आई, लगता है रोने ही वाला हूं!...
स्वयं से हारा मनुष्य, जीवन के किसी क्षेत्र में प्रगति नहीं कर सकता.. न प्रेम पाने योग्य रहता है, न किसी से प्रेम कर सकता है, न स्वार्थी रहता है, न इच्छाएं होती है, बस कामना होती है तो शीघ्र मृत्यु की!.. ऐसा ही कुछ अनुभव कर रहा हूं, शायद स्वयं से हार चुका हूं मैं...!!!
पुरुष ने सदैव, अपनी पसंदीदा स्त्री को खोया है...!!!
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